Wednesday- January 24, 2001
yea yea.. it's early morning again.. so i'm gonna talk about the day before. time is such a nuisance... but i insist
on accuracy. what a bastard. so yea tuesday... went to see Antitrust with mitch...yay for nerdiness. the amazing thing was
that i actually let him pay for me. for the movie.. and for a milkshake after. mmm. milkshake. so.. i also fixed up my
corset a bit.. it fits a lot better now and i'm pleased. i still haven't done much to the second one.. but i figure i should
take my time on that one and figure out stuff BEFORE i make it, unlike this one. i'm in no time rush for this second one, so
that's good. oh.. and charlie ran away again last night, but he came back today. or.. hmm. came back tuesday. soo.. i talked to
scott today so that was cool. today as in wednesday. the real today. but uh.. i'm still feelin real dumb for this whole thing
and uhmm he's not coming in feb. anymore. so.. i don't know what's goin on with that whole mess. i still say i need a localboy
and that there actually aren't any localboys for me around here, so yea. i'm screwed. i should be working on music instead anyway.
i'm just scared that if i start messin on my guitar the only stuff i'll come up with will sound like the thing i wrote a while ago, so
i'm kinda avoiding it. anyway.. more on today later today i guess. or tomorrow.. time needs to rearrange itself.
Monday- January 22, 2001
well.. actually it's just early morning as usual. feels more like sunday. but anyway.. today is khanh's last day
here. she's leaving for rhode island again in some odd number of hours. le sigh! it'll such so much without her.
but uhm... chris and i got the ad goin in the recycler. i hope we get some replies! and.. i'm finally starting that
second corset i've been talking about. it'll be overbust this time. i think i might give/sell the old one to brandy. i probly shouldn't
just give it away since it took a LONG time to make, and money for the stuff to make it. hmm. no idea. well.. she knows
i'm willing to sell almost anything so i can have money to get scott here. so...this whole week and weekend are all booked
up for me. completely unusual, but definately nice. i can't believe i have to start school again next week though. grrr
and a half. times ten. fucking school. oh well.. that human sexuality class should be fun. then again, last semester, the only
class i was looking forward to was the Drum one... and that was the first class i dropped. who knows what'll happen this time.
Friday- January 19, 2001
3.03am right now..but i'm gonna talk like it's Thursday, coz time is just fucked and i'm not done with my day yet, so
today just isn't allowed to actually be Friday yet. and i'm cold. yes, i'm still whining about cold. but i went to matt's today...
good fun. i guess things are cool between me and rich now. so i get home.. and i eat an entire can of
condensed soup... two sandwiches, two eggs, a HUGE cup of hot chocolate, and a piece of cake. i love food.
i started the fashion site.. finally. Santa Ana College Fashion
it's not all that special or anything just yet. i actually really don't like it right now, but it'll get better. i haven't done
any serious webdesign in a while anyway. soo.. gotta actually talk to scott today. that was cool.. but i'm really
missin irc. irony at play again, of course. i go months without touching the program, and once i start up agian, it won't let me on and now
i'm constantly trying to get on and just being frustrated. wow. i think my grammar might have fallen off back there. i don't even know.
but... yea. i'm cold. what the hell am i gonna do friday? err. today? tomorrow? fuck i hate time.
Wednesday- January 17, 2001
i went to the dentist today. i have 3 cavities. fucking SUCKS. i then went into the garage to attempt some
musical fun, but my voice was just feeling dead today, and i got bored of guitar real fast and didn't even
feel like playing drums really, so i ended up falling asleep on my couch in there all dressed up and in makeup
coz i was just bored. so...hours later, i went to the Orange Mall
with khanh... lots of fun. i got mango frozen yogurt. it was actually really good. i love hanging out with
my sister anyway. so then i went to matt's.. played a game of Magic (yea, did i mention they sucked me into
their nerddom?) and then watched jeninenifer cut joe and fag's hair, and then she was all nice and fixed up
mine. great fun. then the group watched south park and tv funhouse, and i went home after. today was mostly full of
events, and not actual thoughts or anything. i just don't really know what to say. well.. i'm fucking cold. i hate
trying to type with cold fingers. the whole electricity crap is pissing me off, i just really need a band or something.
then i'll have stuff to do and most importantly... shows. i really fucking need to play shows sometime soon. hmm. i should
go eat those rolos.
Tuesday- January 16, 2001
so i called the probation officer or whatever today.. had to leave a message. i also changed my HTML 1
class to a later time so that i don't have a bunch of classes all at once. and i played guitar and drums
and sang and all that stuff. actually fixed up that song i wrote yesterday a lot and played it for chrischick
on the phone. she liked it, so i'm pretty damn pleased with the whole band thing. still no name though. and still
missing the other members of the band... hah. but it happens. khanh and mom and i took charlie out on a walk
today... he seemed frustrated at not being allowed to pull on the leash a lot and jump up on EVERYONE. scared the
hell outta two guys walking down the street when he jumped on them. poor lil doggie's just waaayyy too hyper. but
i haven't gotten to really talk to scott lately. suckage and a half. and it's been way too long since i talked to
vlad. when the hell does he get back to cali? crazy how some netthings actually work out so damn well. there's the
lovely and beautiful heidi-joe thing.. and vlad and his girl.. it's just too cute. oh. i painted khanh's nails today.
they're all pretty dark red shiney coolness. and there's still no bandname, but maybe we'll get groupies or something.
then i could have a really insane lovelife. it's always weird coz people actually ask me specifically about that a lot.
i guess it's caught on that my life is a bit of a soap opera. i don't have a new guy ever other month anymore though.
some still say i always have a new guy or something.. but i dunno where the hell they are i guess. only guys i get are
online and way the hell far away. i'm adjusting too nicely.
Monday- January 15, 2001
so i spent the night at matt's last night. first time i had to sleep there alone on the couch.
i actually had trouble sleeping in it though, because it was too much like a bed. i couldn't sleep
until i was sleeping on the thing sideways all weird over the arms and stuff. so yea, that was with
chrischick and frenchie, and we watched kittie and tool videos when we woke up. so.. chrischick and i
are gonna start a band soon. that should rule. oh, and frenchie and i saw stoner at mcdonalds that night too.
that was funny. and no i did NOT eat anything from there. well.. i stole some of frenchie's fries..but my
dinner was burger king and taco bell. i think burger king overcharged. bastards. but yea.. so far today's
kinda slow or something. i don't feel like it's goin anywhere, but who knows. brooke was supposed to come over,
but i have no idea where she is now. that sucks a lot coz i was looking forward to seeing her. i might go out
with jenn in a while though. friends fucking rule. i shouldn't have tried to have an active life offline. i'm
much happier with a balance of the two. my lovely beautiful netgirl, ashes, and the infamous scott... they keep
me happy as i need to be, along with the ton of other cool people online. and then there's people irl to hang out
with that just fucking rule, so it's all balanced and happy and i don't fucking want a local boy coz there really is
nothing around here for me. but being in a band and playing shows will make me happier than ever.
Saturday- January 13, 2001
it's 2.10am right now, so it's technically saturday, but i'm gonna talk about friday, dammit. so friday....
i getta go jewelry shopping with my cool ass siter, i get two CBR's and shd another pair of rings.. the ones that
look like cbr's, but are cheap? anyway.. and my sister gets a pair of those too. and i got my glasses. supercool blue and
black nerdy ones. soooo much more comfy than wire frames. and so much nerdier! yay! but i need to get my toungue
pierced soon. oh. and i gotta see nikki on thursday! that was supercool. never see her anymore. and i registered for my
classes too. lets see... three internet online classes, one fashion class, learning sign language, and a class on human sexuality.
i am SUCH a credit whore. i'd i'd ever give a damn about learning some of this stuff it they were't worth the credits. argh. well.. one weird thing. i'm around IRC again. i guess
i'm just done with my little break. and i'm still banned from #femalemasturbation. goddamn that room was so funny...
so now it's 6.53 pm and the day has mostly happened. i bleached the long streaks some more in my hair, and then a stripe
down the center of my bangs. i'm pretty damn pleased. but no peircing fun today, so frenchie's comin over in a bit and
we're gonna hang out. bleh. whoa. the weekend's almost over! SHIT! i need ta get my tongue pierced. and i need to find out when the
hell scott's gettin here. and and.. hmm. i have no idea.
Wednesday- January 10, 2001
didn't go to work today... and it's raining and cold. sit at the compy.. watch some
tv, bake a cake... probly goin to matt's in a bit. grrr. units are driving me insane now.
i want to temporarily die. yea that's impossible, but i really need to get the hell
away sometimes and the few times they do let me out it's just not enough coz the second
i'm back they have to bitch and whine some more. and this time there's no love in my life
to distract me from all the bullshit. but with the whole car accident bullshit i'm gonna be
on informal probation or some shit, so this is NOT the time to just randomly run away or live somewhere
else for a while. grr and a half. and ya know what? i really really fucking miss those old friends of
mine who could actually tell what the fuck i mean when i say something. i'm sick of having no one
understand me and feel like some complete freak speaking a foreign language except it's english. just
like everyone else around here, but not fucking good enough if it's out of my mouth.
Friday- January 5, 2001
so uhmm.. yes. people suck. some are just so goddamn stubborn and blind
i want to kill things. like right now. but i'm off to Big Bear for the weekend,
i thought it'd be the coolest thing ever, but the two people in the world who
seem to refuse to treat me as a human are now going, so that fucks up stuff. but
i've been listening to Gravity Kills a lot today and yesterday, and goddamn they're
such sexy music! oh. one thing that sucks.. i can't find my Weetzie Bat book. i wanted
to read that up in the cabin and all, but it'd dissappeared. i found Girl Goddess #9, but
immediately read Rave and now i dunno if i'll read the rest up there. oh well... i'll take my Crow
Graphic Novel.. definately. i'll read it tons. and i'm bringing all the comfystuff i can. ya know..
once again i lose all hope in the human race.. but feel better if i think about scott. i dunno
why he always makes me think better of humans... maybe i'm imagining things that aren't there
in him. some special happy power or some shit. oh well. imaginary or not.. i'm not gonna kill anything, so
it's good.
Wednesday- January 3, 2001
so uhmm.. today i actually managed to sleep in till 4 something. an all time late for me. before this year the lastest i'd EVER EVER woken up was around 12. oh well. oh wait. dude. it's 2001. fuck that. last year was the 12 year. 2001 is the year of all time sleepin. but i'm stayin up late all the time too. i wonder if i should schedule my classes to such an odd sleeping pattern, or change the sleep for the classes. i need to register.. oh fuck. but uhmm.. i'm short on money for the get the scott the fuck over here funds.. so that really really sucks. but yea... uhmm. so uhh. yea. cigarettes suck. especially whatever these things are that frenchie's been smoking. man
that stuff is odd. but oh well. i ate mcdonalds food today. i'm so dissappointed in myself. evil mcdonalds.. but they were the only thing open at about 3.30 am. bastaards. i still say we should've gotten gas station food. muahaha.
Tuesday- January 2, 2001
how the hell is it 2001 already? wtf is that? where has my 2000 gone? not
that i miss it. that was a really fucked up bad awful evil year. cept
meeting the nonmundane group and going to college instead of high
school. anyway.. party at quinn's ruled. party at jim's ruled. got cool
new boots and collar after it all too. i shoudln't spend my money...
but i'm a sucker for sexy boots and i love collars! oh well. so... i
dont think i'm ever gonna get over scott and that kinda sucks... not coz
i hate him or anything. i love him tons. it's just confusing this way.
and i really don't think he cares about me as much.. or if he does he's not
showing it so i woudlnt' know anyway and what's with that? i need to meet
more forward people or something. not that i'm complaining. i really do love
the friends i have. it's made SOO much of a difference to try and figure out
who's a true friend. anyway... i'm mopey right now. i should go play with music
or makeup or jewelry or something. anything. i'm just confused as hell.
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