Monday- July 31, 2000


soo.. the last day of the month! eek. anyway... went on the first day of drivers training yesterday.. and wow did we break a few laws. but that's what happens when you don't ever get a chance to drive on streets, and then you're told to be goin 45 on a winding road. oooh yea. but man am i lookin forward to decorating the van. that van is MINE!

so anyway.... i keep re-doing the site.. and there's tons of stuff i wanna do for the art section... but i'm getting kinda overloaded with stuff right now. oh the confusion. oh fuck... i need to go fix some images coz i messed around with new directories n stuff. yay. but today's been pretty good i guess... went thrift store shopping with mommy... got some cool stuff. ANOTHER vinyl jacket... but mom didn't bug me about the vinyl stuff this time. probly coz THIS jacket's blue. hehe. i have a ton of black vinyl jackets.. but no blue ones.

and... i miss god. that really sucks. get your compy back, god! and... so the month of July has been a healing one, where June was just filled with pain and confusion. hooray for good people. sigh and a half times ten to mean people, and.. let's see what happens next month. "whatever tomorrow brings, i'll be there, with open arms and open eyes."-Incubus

Saturday- July 29, 2000


sooo... nice lil mouse cursor, eh? i was just gonna try and mess around with this stuff and have my own cursor over the main pages, but i'm not sure how to do that just yet, so yay. anyway... i wanna get perfecr circle tix. raar. i need to not be broke all the time, coz i dont even have tattoo the eart tix yet. doot! but uhmm.. yea. i'm bored... maybe i'll add more later.

Thursday- July 27, 2000


so.. redoin the site again... finished part 3 of the Richy Milkshake, the sexy dairy product comics... if you have no idea what i'm talking about this probably sounds very odd. but oh well. maybe i'll include the comics on the site. that'd be kinda cool... and. yea. things are good right now. pretty odd situation.

Wednesday- July 26, 2000


registered for school today... guess i'm goin to Santa Ana college instead of Fullerton... but it's cool. a LOT closer. yay for not knowing how to drive!

Sunday- July 23, 2000


wow.. i'm not writing so much anymore, am i. oh well. soo... off at the Block last night with Jessica and Quinn, supercool time. and yessss, i do like the block. so =P to all you anti people. and uhmmm...i'm playin my drums a lil now.. i used a bunch of small towels to muffle them. ahahaha. i know. it's a stupid idea... but it's working, and i'm playing a little, so yay. even played my bass a lil too. and always singing along to all those sexy Shirley songs... mmmm shirley.... so. i love god... i really really hope that he moves to mexico, which sounds stupid, but it's soooo much closer than Virginia.

Friday- July 21, 2000


so today is just there. went to purcussion and had a good time. yay. and... the last few days have been just haning out with people... lindsay and matt and liz. matt's probly back in N.C. now...but it was good fun. i'm not gonna talk bout any of that stuff coz some of it's too personal and the rest is coz i'm lazy... and i'm back to just sitting around online. yay coz i missed god like mad. and A BIG HARE in this box is missing right now... it's a weird name... i don't care to write the story for it... but it's as weird as it sounds, if not weirder. twas a cute rabbit though. aand.. i'm just mopey now. sigh.

Sunday- July 16, 2000


maan i'm in love with mp3's... go listen to Celldweller. ahha. yeea. and so.. i'm working on the other site a lot now. supercool.. i have stuff to keep me occupied and i'm thinkign of making a small tribute to tetrinet, because i love the game. and i could have like.. the rules, and have backgrounds to download and stuff... it'd be cool. who knows though. oh fuck i need to drive.... yea. anyway.

Saturday- July 15, 2000


i'm sooo addicted to mp3's right now. wow. i didn't really get many before, even though i've had the player for months... but this rules. mp3's rule!!!! and uhmm yea. i think my current life consists of chatting, tetrinet, and mp3.com. the funny thing is... i'm not complaining. nope nope. but i really fucking need to learn how to drive. what a dork i am.

Wednesday- July 12, 2000


soo. today was pretty cool. i actually slept. played with my laptop last night. Windows 3.1 hheehe. wow. and anyway... watched breed all about it.. missed the first one.. and then watched Dogma. that was cool. and chat chat chat away! i havne't talked to God in a while. ={ i miss him tons. and i'm off to Jenn's to watch some movies with her and Lindslop. And i'm too lazy to change, so i'm going in the silk i love you boxers and a sparkly t-shirt. aww yea. Oh.. and it seems the family might not go to Europe. yaaaay!

Monday- July 10, 2000


weird day. talking to Liz now... hehe. it's pretty cool... and went out to coffee with Lindsay and Jenn and Stacie. haven't seen lindslop in a long time. So anyway.. god's like.... dissappearing on me and i'm gettin all lonely n stuff. i'm much too clingy i think. but oh well. i'm still blehed that bse's not coming. hehe. that sucks. oh. and i'll be goin to Europe for the first two weeks of August it seems. and uhmm.. i need to learn how to drive NOW. coz i have to drive to college, and like... i'll be gone for half of august, so man is this sad. oof.

Sunday- July 9, 2000


so anyway.. i went to sleep at around 1am last night and woke up at around 3am and i'm still up.. but my mind's been goin insane on me. I've edited tons... it happens every once in a while. anyway... bse isn't coming here.. or might not. and that sucks. DYE DYE DYE! and uhm... i miss god tons already. i think i'm too clingy...=/ but the good news is, i didn't see evil bastard boy last night. he was at the show, but i was able to avoid seeing him. yaaa! anyway...my stomach is trying to eat itself. maybe i'll talk later. so. yea. i edited things like mad and had a great time. i think the site is much better now. anyway... god's back. yay yay yay! pretty good day today.

Saturday- July 8, 2000


so anyway.. Ozma show tonight. supercool. i hope i don't see a certain ex there. well... yesterday was actually pretty boring, not great. haha. but i dyed my hair again. i just put some blue in over the red and purple in some parts. and... i worked on a story i was working on a year or two ago that i never finished. i'll probly try to finish that up, and i'll put it up on the site. maybe i'll just write some random stories and post those up. ha. that'd be funny. anyway... i miss god. le sigh! and i'm on my period. and that'd just fucking cool. no i'm not worried about being pregnant. i just get it like.. once every 2-3 months, so it makes me think my body's freaking on me. oh well. i looked at other people's sites today, and am definately definately jealous. mine's not that cool. ={ but oh well.

Friday- July 7, 2000


aaah what a lovely day so far. i woke up, used the machine so i could breate again, and went online, where i had a lovely conversation with mommy of the Na'ish kind, and talked to her on the phone, and it was neat. she's a good person to talk to for me. makes me happy. and talked to god of course. kinda quiet right now actually. and i'm about to run off to the tv for my daily dose of Animal Planet. Breed All About It rules. for those of you who don't know... it talks about a diff breed of dog every show and tells you tons of stuff about them, like what they were originally bred to do. oh yea. i forgot to mention. while i was on the machine, i write a lovely lil hate song. something that was altogether unheard of until scott. i'm just not a hating person by nature. it was good though. and i'm having a great day so far. my cold is going away. people are once again good for me, and my family is being cool too. aah the life. i'd just better not hear from scott. grrr. and i'd also better get more pics of god coz he rules and is so sexy. yes yes yes. anyway. i'm off to another 12+ hour internet day full of AIM, IRC (yay chiasex), and maybe some games. oh. two minutes. this channel rules.

Thursday- July 6, 2000


so anyway... i was going to write stuff last night, but i got too stressed out. scott doesnt' know how to leave me alone i guess. I was unluckiluy, haveing a great day. i say unluckily coz he ruined it. it woudlnt' have sucked nearly as much if i'd already been mopey, but no. for the first time in months i was having a completely 100% happy day. anyway... i swear i wanna bitch him out now. it's not even just annoyed at him. i am seriously pissed, which never happens. odd, huh? i never get truly pissed at people, and the first person it happens with is the one that i USED to love. but anyway... he's proven himself to be an asshole. I just wish i could've seen it coming. I happened to find the last conversation we had. i saved it. maybe i knew even way back then that it was gonna be an important chat.... anyway... i had doubts about how he felt about me, and asked him about stuff, and the last thing he said to me was that i was his love. hah to that. i wish he would just realize that everyone isnt' here just for his personal amusement. I absolutely despise liars, and people that treat others bad. so. odd change of events... if this journal type thing had been started even a month or two before it did, all i would have written about was how much i fucking loved scott. now it's all about how much he pisses me off. The problem is, that i don't want anything to do with him, and in the course of the time we were together, he ended up becoming friends with some of my friends. crappy and a half. I'm gonna end up feelin weird around those people, or getting jealous even... but most of all worried. If he ever believed he loved me, but then treated me like some disposable peice of crap, how is he gonna treat other people??? arrrrgh this sucks. i actually coudln't sleep for hours last night coz i got so stressed over him. i'm thinking of posting our last conversaion on the site. I'm goin off on him a lot, and most people probly have no idea what went on. there isn't really anything personal in it, and if he wanted me to take it down, well, he'd have to tell me himself, which would mean actually talking to me. hah. woudln't that be interesting.... ok. enough scott-bitching. the rest of life is good. very good. i'm feeling closer to Jenn lately which is cool coz i really felt like i had absolutely no close friends left. it just gets kinda hard for me to open up to people sometimes. and god.... well. i coudln't be happier. he's so great and even cheered me up after the scott-incedent. i think about him all the time and it just rules. i think i'd go insane if i didn't have him around making me smile. anyway... enough babble. i'm gonna go play solitaire some more.

Tuesday- July 4, 2000


well.. it's 2:11 AM right now, so yea. it's wednesday, but nothing's happening yet, so i'm writing this stuff for yesterday!!!!! I spent my Fourth of July watching Weezer for the third time. it was great. and i talked to God too. maaan he is great for un-moping. I dunno if i'm even moping at all anymore. He just makes me so happy and feel less crappy about myself. I know he means it when he says stuff to me. honesty is always the best. Jenn came over for a lil too. we watched James Bond, "the world is not enough." Shirley Manson is the sexiest gal EVER, and james bond movies rule! and Jenn rules! jenn after a long warm shower.... haha. anyway. I felt bad when i said that she's not my type. I know she doesnt' even like girls like that, but it still seemed weird. She does rule, and has a ton of guys that want her, but she's just not the type for me i guess. hehe. oh well. life is gettin better all the time.

Monday- July 3, 2000


monday morning. woke up in the morning by nearly coughing my lungs out. yuck. so how long have i been sick now? i need to not hate going to the doctor's. i'm gettin all stubborn like dad. anyway... WEEZER concert tonight!!! and tomorrow night!!!! and rocky horror picture show on VH1 on wednesday night! awwwww yea. anyway.... i'd better get better. i don't wanna be sick through all three Weezer concerts. that would really fucking suck. anyway.... went to the Hub with Nikki last night. very cool, but i choked on ashes. haha. oh man that sucked. but there were nice people there. i just had no money to buy anything. i'm still undecided on the whole Job idea. i wanna enjoy this summer, not spend it all working. oh well. so anyway. God's helping me unmope a whole lot. he rules. needs to gimme more pics though. errrr not the religious God if that's what anyone's thinking. anyway... i'm off to stress about finding someone to go to weezer with me.
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