Sunday- November 26, 2000
mopey, lonely, bored and miserable.
Saturday- November 25, 2000
i'm up here in redwood city with relatives for the whole turkeyday festivities and stuff... but i'm
really gettin mopey now. life is getting way too lonely and boring. i made a cool shirt though... it's
black.. long sleeved... and has a glittery heart on the front. not those damn stylized ones... one drawn
after human hears i looked for on the web. the back of the shirt will have glittery lungs. yay for decorating...
so anyway... i really need to figure out what the hell i want. i still miss god tons, but i think we're
doomed. and the more i think about it, the more it seems like rich and i are just using each other, and not
even friends anymore, really. this is just bleh.
Sunday- November 19, 2000
so i go to peer court in january, but i don't have to go to a real court. i'll get community service
and maybe a class to take, but i'm happy with this. i buzzed half of my head.. jen's gonna fix it up
later today... it's 1.22 am so i'm still thinking it's saturday and getting confused. but my mice are
dead. all except echo. it's just awful to think that diana's gone though. no more lil white mousey
giving me kisses and running all over my shoulders...
grrrrr.
Tuesday- November 14, 2000
my body hurts. make it stop. so anyway, i must have the most confused lil heart possible right now.
there's people that i would marry in an instant, people i would just love to be with all the time,
people that i adore, but can't understand why... and those that i wish i COULD like in that way, and of course,
those that i love but never see.
so anyway... my dad thinks that being out with friends is affecting my health. yea right. it's the only
thing that really helps anymore, but he doesn't want me going out so much. yay. so much for getting
back to the way things used to be. i'm stuck like this. grrr. something odd though... my voice isn't back yet.
my cold was done with a week ago, but my voice has stayed dead for some reason. i wonder if it'll go back to
normal...
Monday- November 13, 2000
what i need.. is someone to ask me out through a song, and marry me with the crow ring.
Sunday- November 12, 2000
so... i have 4 mice now... echo, diana, shirley, and kamikaze. narci died =/ but today has been pretty
weird. was over at the matt/jen/dan/rich house all day. great fun, but there's just a weird sorta
feel to today. people are so comfy though... it just sucks when being with some people makes me feel
even lonelier than i already am. i want my comfort foods and drinks right now. i want my room to NOT
have a mysterious stench. i need some more really good hugs. that's life though.
Wednesday- November 8, 2000
so... the day after kim's b-day. the family b-day thing on the 6th just went to hell....
i don't know what's going on with her, but something is just
seriously disturbing. i don't know why she acts like she does, or if she even realized that
she acts like this... but now i know how my parents feel. i was completely shocked by some things she'd
said, and actually couldn't get to sleep for a long time that night, though i was on nyquil and
already pretty tired from my cold. so the next day i spent hanging out with rich and matt. that helped
me feel better a LOT, because there are just all these weird vibes around the house now. i'm not insane.
really. but anyway, today has been a blur full of chit chat, insomnia, and hiding a person's flaws. in other
words... all i did was go to school and work. i really need to move out though. poor parents...
Sunday- November 5, 2000
went to big bear last night. much fun... very cold. but i thin i'm getting really sick...
threw up this morning. i never throw up. man it was awful.... but everything is pretty
good other than feeling like i'm gonna die. it's nice seein people though. what a crazy idea.
me and a social life. i need some more nerdiness or something. but yea... i saw my other half
today. that was cool. i don't see him much. and.. seen two of my favorite movies today. good stuff.
Friday- November 3, 2000
bored! so... today has been rather uneventful for me. i got an idea for a picture
to draw on the way home from work today. it should be interesting. it's been terribly
boring today though.
Tuesday- November 1, 2000
work work work work work...it IS fun and all.. but man. it's become my life!!!
oh well. my poor cd player's batteries are sooo attacked. i'm just happy that i
getta listen to my own stuff though. but yea.. i miss hanging out with Charlie as much
as we used to.. and i kinda miss being able to hang out with friends on weekdays...
and i really miss driving... but bleh. last night was really cool...still lonely as always though.
the closer i get, the further i feel.
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